(no subject)

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

Well, well, well.

Were you all going to celebrate Valentine's without me?

Comments

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

Does no one like metaphors around here?

I don't think it's something you would understand.

[justanimitator]

[winces, he knows what 'metaphors' are now, thanks to looking up after that conversation with the Vampire!Kaito. This is looking like it's going to be one of those bad conversations, but he's curious as to why this Len likes Valentine's Day when the other one hated it]

I'm... still learning them.

Why not?

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

...well, uh.

Look, maybe when you're older.

[justanimitator]

I'm over one... um... month or year... now. That's not old enough?

...Why... why would age make a difference?

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

Experience comes with age.

In many, many ways.

[justanimitator]

[might be looking a bit irritated now, he knows he asks a lot of questions and that bothers some people... but outright repeatedly dodging them is a bit frustrating]

...Um.

What sort of 'experience', please, Len-san?

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

[...this is really not the kind of innocence he was hoping to encounter.]

All kinds.

Not that I'm usually the sort to impart my wisdom on others, but sometimes you really need to try a different line of questioning.

Expect my revenge soon

[justanimitator]

[..............]

...You don't know anything um, either, then? This sounds like another trick...

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

Well, excuse me.

Did I say that?

1/2

[justanimitator]

...............

[justanimitator]

S... sorry...

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

[Dammit, he was never good with kids.]

Okay, okay, fine. We'll have a talk about the birds and the bees if you really want to know that badly.

[justanimitator]

[even the ones with your face?]

...You need um, experience for 'birds' and 'bees'? Haven't seen bees, ah, yet, but I just saw a bird just a few minutes ago.

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

[But he's so much better-looking than the other Lens.]

...actually, let's go with storks. Okay. So.

When a man and a woman love each other, usually, not always, but anyway -- [and launches into the typical tirade about babies and storks and whatnot]

[justanimitator]

[but this one is so mooooe]

[listens intently, until-- hey, wait a second here]

...You um, are talking about 'sex', aren't you?

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

[Two seconds away from facepalming.]

...yes. Yes, I am.

[justanimitator]

Ooh.

Um, I already have seen a lot of sex, it's not that interesting.

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but watching it is a completely different experience from -- didn't you say you were a month old?

[justanimitator]

[nods] Month or uh, a little over a year. It's... hard to tell.

Um, sorry for saying so, Len-san, but... ah... some of what you talked about didn't look like what I saw at all.

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

[And the fact that this Len has seen any of that at all at a year old is weighing heavily on whatever remains of his morality code.]

Ah.

Well.

I suppose it depends on... what you watched...

[WHY AM I HAVING THIS CONVERSATION]

[justanimitator]

[score?]

[hardly listening as he's now listing things off, counting them on his fingers]

Um, I mean... only two people? It's ah-- usually at least five. And you didn't say anything about goats, horses, or dogs. I'm pretty sure um, tentacles should be involved at some point. I mean, from what I remember. Those were a little scary... No one going to the bathroom or getting sick is also a little... You made it sound like it was 'adults' doing the sex thing and both wanted to do it. And um...

[he could go on like this all day]

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

[JUST DEAD SILENCE]

...uh.

[justanimitator]

...Huh?

[lovestrategist.livejournal.com]

That, uh.

That is not normal sexual intercourse, thank you very much.

[justanimitator]

[genuinely suprised]

It... it isn't?