vocaloidressing | (no subject)

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[No matter where you are, what you're doing, and what door you're opening -- when you open it, there's blood everywhere and

MIKU IS DEAD.]

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[It wobbles. She snickers again.]

It looks pretty real, right?

[MASSIVE SIGH OF RELIEF.]

That isn't funny! You nearly scared me half to death!

[She sits up. The 'blood' is staining her clothes, too.]

Eh heh heh, sorry! I didn't really expect you, so I didn't really know what to do.

Who on Earth were you expecting?

My husband!

...I.

I think there are more subtle ways to tell him you're unhappy.

I'm not unhappy with him, just a little bored.

This is how you relieve boredom? Pretending to be dead?

[She nods with a proud smile.]

I get to think of different ways to play dead every day, and he gets to guess what tonight's dinner is! Sometimes I work on something all day just to get it ready for him.

[...Well it didn't seem like she was doing this as a malicious prank or anything. Still. Weird.]

And how does your husband feel about this?

[she thinks for a moment. Well, he's never told her to stop or anything.]

He usually guesses right, and he helps me clean up the mess afterward. I think he's used to it by now.

[...Huh. Nice matchup, apparently.]

I...see. I suppose there's nothing wrong with it if you're not really hurt and giving him a heart attack.

[She laughs.] That only happened the first time! The "giving him a heart attack" part, I mean.

He didn't really have a heart attack, but he almost looked like it.

I'd imagine finding your wife dead on the floor would do that to a man.

[Nods.] It's a pretty scary thing, I think.

[Why are you so chipper about this.]

So it's...fun?

Yeah, it is! Before I started playing dead, I was really bored just waiting around at home. Now, I get to be really creative with how I die.

There was one time when I dressed up like a sunfish!

A sunfish?

[Note to self: if marriage ever happens, make sure wife has stuff to do.]

Yep. Dead sunfish with a knife. My husband suggested I do a tuna next, but I haven't been able to make the costume.

...Huh. Well. That certainly is creative.

[She will totally take that as a compliment.]

Thank you!

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